Last month I read and reviewed The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg–a book about how to change bad habits and create new good habits. His message is that developing helpful, healthy habits can make us into happier people. Today I just finished Mel Robbins’ book Stop Saying You’re Fine in which she writes that some habits–many of them seemingly insignificant, can cause us to get stuck in a life of boredom and unfulfillment.
Robbins states that many of us make excuses for not following our dreams. We get busy with life, work, family, and distracted by social media so much that we see no way to make a change. We say we are fine even though we hate our jobs, have a loveless relationship, do not get along with our kids, and envy those seemingly perfect people on Instagram and Facebook. She gives tough talk on how to stop being stuck and moving toward the life we really want.
When my oldest son when off to college, I realized that my life was going to change drastically over the next few years. My identity as a homeschooling mom was fading. All I ever wanted to do in life was to be married and have children. What would I do when my children didn’t need me anymore? I was definitely stuck.
After reading Robbins’ book, I can see that I basically went through her “Method for Becoming Powerful and Getting What You Want” to get myself unstuck. Here what happened to me viewed through the five steps of Robbins’ method.
Step 1: Face It, You Are Not Fine
I had to admit to myself and my loved ones that no, I was not fine. I cried a lot. I didn’t know who I was anymore. Luckily, I found that Tarot could help me get through some of the bad times.
Step 2: Admit What You Want
One night I was reading yet another book about Tarot when the idea came to me that I should start my own Tarot reading business. I happened to have a domain name that I wasn’t using, so I hopped on my compter and set up my new website. Within days I had a site, social media accounts, and business cards letting the world know that I was a professional Tarot reader.
Step 3: Go Public with What You Want
I had all of the tools ready for my business, but I still needed clients! So I began learning all I could about running a business. I joined two mastermind groups to help me along the way.
Step 4: Zoom Out and Create a Map
This step has probably been the most difficult for me. I tend to create lists that can be neatly checked off to get where I want to go. Robbins suggests making a map with all of the necessary steps spread all around so that it is easy to just jump in anywhere and get a taks done. I am learning to be more fluid with my planning so that I can change course when necessary.
Step 5: Lean In to Change
Noooo! I do not like change. How am I supposed to lean into it? I am learning that change is constant when running a business so I have had to really work on this skill. I am getting better at dealing with change though. Robbins suggests taking small, very small, steps towards change so that you do not get discouraged.
After giving you the method to get what you want, she dedicates several chapters on how to keep your stamina so that your dream doesn’t fizzle away when the work gets tough. One tip she gives that I have implemented is the five-second rule (no, not the one about food on the floor) that says when you decide on a task do it within five seconds so that you don’t talk yourself out of it. I have used this strategy many times when facing business tasks that I don’t particulary enjoy.
So, stop saying you’re fine if you are not–and read this book. It is tough and no-nonsense, but full of good advice. And if you are not fine, get a Tarot reading! The Tarot can help you identify your dreams and how to fulfill them.
Peace and blessings–
Kelly
